An ode to the women I see

She flies with her own wings
    her life is her song
her scruples, the objections in her path
    her leisure, her bed of fantasies

her world, her perception from her eyes
    her heart, a mirror of her unsung desires
her mind, a pool of its afflictions and aspirations
    her spirit, unencumbered
her essence immortalised in time

she falls , she rises, she braves the tide
   but sometimes, yet sometimes
she frees herself and rides home on the tides

her stoic semblance bottles up the tumultuous emotions
   raging her interiors, eroding her stability
its human, its only human to feel this way
   she gives in
sometimes frugally, sometimes unsparingly
   but she knows well, when time comes
to take her possessions back

there is a little satchel she carries
   where she keeps her little bundles of joy
her own space, her own prerogative before time
   she keeps it hidden
hidden in those moments of self-torn desire
   hidden between moments
of loosing and finding yourself
   between rationality and irrationality
between sighing and breathing
   between the dawn and the early morn
in all those seconds spent in vulnerable thought

and before the twilight ends
   before it takes back the little tufts like clouds soaked with serene lusciousness
before dawn breaks into her sub conscious
   she wraps her little joys, and puts them away, shielded
under her cotton sheets of wistful chimeras
   she walks through her day customarily
a smile here, an empathetic shrug there
   but in her heart
she longs to surround herself in
   her private possessions- her memories, her desires, her moments, her soul
to relive those treasured silent memories of unrequited dreams

I'm amazed by the soul in front of me
   always hiding behind the shadows of a half-revealed self
hoping someday someone would see
   see through the unseen, see through the disguised impersonation of herself
I'm amazed how unsparingly people disregard her delicate soul
   but she still does
she still walks on the unknown roads
   trying to find her own way
in the milieu of dogmatic voices
   she believes in singing her own song
because she flies, she flies with her own wings ....

 

delicious ambiguity, alluring anonymity

Delicious ambiguity, why does it entice me
why does it draw me
is it an escape from a tireless regime
or an escape from or to reality?

in the potently static reality
the staleness in the air makes my mind numb
i adapt to my peripheral surrounding
i accept this delusion as my reality
till the time i need to break the mould
to reclaim my lost mind
to have my own free reign over my self
without my mind impeding
without the hidden armour going up
and then i see , then i see how delusive i have been....

the hum-drum of dialy activites
reverberate in my mind
it confines me to think and react and behave in only certain acceptable ways
and now i cant discern whether which part is really me
and which part is the facade i adopt to keep up with the pace of this mundane life..

And then I need to break free from the ceaselessly ongoing regime
when i no longer can be a subject to routine
so i set on a journey , as it calls for me
hoping to reclaim my lost soul

when i view the world from a third perspective
it is the moment that i view myself from a third perspective
there is some pleasure in getting lost
in loosing urself tll u find urself
there is some peace in walking in a crowd
when ur not under a constant radar
you take a step back, back from life
and see
see the people, the faces walking by
when nobody observes you
and u see the faces
u recognise a few, some confound u
ur cloaked in a shroud of naked invisibility
yes there is pleasure in anonymity
is that y i travel?

the uncertainty of the new place, whiskes away all ur defenses
u fulfill your desire to see the end of all world
explore endlessly changing horizons
see a different rising and a different setting sun
freedom form the current regime
its like breathing again
makes u feel formless, invincible
without any boundaries
ur thoughts can explore any deep seated notions
ur thoughts can uproot any fixed conception
your views can move beyond your peripheral subconcious
your eyes can perceive greater than they can visually see
u feel a change happening within thee
u mould ur mind according to ur renewed perception
u evaluate ur biased values
u imbibe the air , the feeling , the culture of the new place
there is such pleasure in anonymity and more
it opens possibilities of existence
like you can exist in more forms than one
u can romantize life in new forms
there is some pleasure in delaying and acting
the moment in between relaxes you
it swells the ignorance of the unknown future
makes u believe ur in control of the moment

there is pleasure between loosing ur senses and regaining control
in holding and letting go
in confessing and repressing
as it opens several possibilities
probably even more than those that exist
feels like
the pleasure between winter and spring
of hope, of faith of letting go
i summon the ignorance to the fore
i summon the hope to the fore
there is beauty, utter peace and delight
in not getting to know
of flowing with life
of not questioning back
and letting life take total control
and numbing ur mind

delicious ambiguity
alluring anonymity
why do they mesmerise me?

ignorance is subject to obliviousness ..

sometimes, i do entertain certain thoughts
i play around a bunch of ideas
why?
becuase the mind is the most intriguing thing
even if its rightfully urs
it never obeys u
it never succumbs to you
it plays tricks on u
it can take you to the highest highs
and the lowest lows
and you think that u can master it
you leave no room for uncertainty
to reign full control over your mind
and just in the moments you think hard
to decipher your own motives
reasons,excuses
ur astounded by the facts you uncover
because even if they were hidden inside of you
u were oblivious to it
maybe the world saw it
maybe it didnt
maybe u burried it deep inside
but the mind never forgets
is it then ur biggest foe or your strangest ally
the walls u build around you
is it to shield urself from the world or shield urself from ur mind?