Looking back to see how far i've come ..

                                                       Connecting dots in retrospect

or dots connecting by themselves ...

am i leading my time

or is time leading me

slowly and steadily i uncover the hidden path

wondering where it shall lead

or where I lead it eventually

the clock ticks by
time rides on tides
sometimes washing ashore, breaking into my conscious
sometimes leaving my space
letting me live in my moments
times been an ally, i knew not
it passed by on occasions
on occasions it just stood still
witnessing silently , my emotions flow

theres a smile lingering at the back of my mind
the memory of it dangles in the air 
suffuses me with renewed freshness
it half reaches my lips
it half fades away with the memory of it
I willingly succumb to my self-effacing mind 


In the midst of the melody of  synchronised unsavoury voices
my heart plays an irregular tune 
my eyes look skyward
my ears turn within 
I keep trying to discern 
the inexplicable stirring happening within me
i try to wrap my head around what it could possibly be
but I guess
the heart has its reasons, that reasons know not.

I feel heady today , my heart knows why 
the air is intoxicating and the clouds are shy
I'm at the threshold of the reason of my very existence 
I've worked all my life
to achieve that picture of me 
in the heart of hearts
this mental picture never got lost, in the seasons come and gone
no one can ever take that away from me
because I have become, I have come into my being

I've been searching all my life for that place I've longed for
my realm , my universe
it is ready besides me today, to set me free
the breeze blows through my hair
whispers gently in my ear , 
'you're here, you're finally here'

And now, I follow the path covered with shrubs of uncertainty
a thorn here, a flower there
this is how I chose life to be
drenched with ambiguity, excitement and with heart wrenching beauty
for the journey I chose , and the journey I led so far
has always made every step worth it
I have to keep going on
to be true to myself
to uncover what is left to be uncovered
to see what is left to be seen
to find, what is left of me.