Wednesday, October 9, 2013

To my grandfather ...

I watched you every morning
when you dressed,
when you exercised, when you met people
when you worked day in and day out
I saw what your work meant to you
I saw how your people revered you
Despite the adulation, you were humble and unyielding
I was in awe with you then , I am even now
I was 5, and you were an important man.

I wish I had known you as my grandfather,
I wish you had time 
in the some moments that you were there
I wish I was not that shy.

I grew up looking upto you
with every obstacle I ever faced in life
with every condescending look, with every demeaning word every said
I thought of you, 
of your strength to face a nation
of your conviction of your work
of your will to fight back
that made me go on
that has defined who I am today
With every challenge I would say
my grandfather did it, so will I.

People say I have a lot of strength
I'm a maverick, I'm bold
people say I have the courage to go off the beaten track
I have always known where that came from
from the life you've led 
from the person you are
I never wanted to let you down 
and hence , I carried on 
I always, always braved the storm.

People follow inspirational figures
people they have never known
I never had to look far 
because I always had you
You were always proud of me
I just wanted to make you even prouder 
and hence I worked and worked, 
and the day I found my salvation was 
when you said " I see myself in you".

Endlessly, the world has shackled you
the world has been unfair 
you have been unfair to a lot of people
you've lost a lot, gained very less in life 
but its that man in you who still holds onto life
holds onto his true self
holds on to his core strength
has always amazed me
I have never met another being like yourself

On occasions you have looked past me
on occasions I probably didn't matter
but despite of everything grand dad
you have been my defining force in life
and I know, you have never known that

I may never tell you this 
but I love you every bit
I've always drawn strength from you 
I have never seen you falter
that is the memory I wish to keep forever.

No matter what happens next or 
what people say 
how people perceive you 
or how they try to dissect your life in my eyes
the memory of you, your life, your courage, your strength 
are etched in my mind forever
that is my own personal stash of strength
You may never know how much you have made me
but I'd like you to know 
that you're my grand father first
and the rest doesn't matter at all.

With whatever life would hit me 
I know I will face it 
because I have your blood running in my veins
because I am Your grand daughter.

  

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